


Waiting to Go All In

by DustinMcDreamy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Reunion, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustinMcDreamy/pseuds/DustinMcDreamy
Summary: Dean Winchester is headed to his best friend Jo's wedding. He hasn't seen Jo in ten years since he was forced to move away before he even got his soulmate mark. He still hasn't met his soulmate, but he secretly hopes his soulmate is the other man he was forced to leave behind all those years ago....
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68
Collections: Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Reunion





	Waiting to Go All In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ribbons_Undone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribbons_Undone/gifts).



Dean Winchester was sitting in the window seat of a plane, patiently waiting for takeoff to commence. He was headed to Omaha, Nebraska for the first time in ten years for a wedding of one of his former friends: Jo Harvelle.

His heart was pounding in his chest, for multiple reasons. The first reason was that he wasn’t keen on flying; he had always preferred the hot asphalt that was the open road. Windows down, classic rock playlist blaring- that was one of his favorite things. The second reason was that the last time he was in Nebraska, he left someone very important behind.

Dean’s father moved him and his brother around the country often. Dean was utterly amazed that they had spent three years in Nebraska, beating out the previous two records of eighteen months and thirteen months. For most places in his past, it was a year or less for the Winchesters.

Dean only ever had the opportunity to make loose acquaintances, but Nebraska was different; Ellen and Jo were true family friends, and then of course, there was….

“Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen,” the captain announced on the intercom system. “We have been given the all-clear for take-off. Please remain in your seats when the ‘fasten seatbelt’ light is illuminated. It’ll be about a two hour flight, and it’ll go by smooth and fast. Clear skies are up ahead, and that means little to no chance of turbulence. Feel free to check out one of our complimentary movies, or listen to some complimentary radio, and thank you for flying Midwest.”

The aircraft began to pick up speed, and there was a bit of a roar as it reached its maximum speed. With a small tilt of some flaps, the plane began to lift seemingly effortlessly and rise gently higher and higher.

He needed to take a deep breath and look away before he thought about the height too much. He turned over to a woman sitting in the aisle seat (thank goodness nobody as in the middle) when he noticed an image of an arrow on her left arm.

“Excuse me,” Dean politely asked. “Is that a tat or a mark?”

The woman looked down at her arm and smiled. “Mark,” she politely answered. “If yours looks similar, I hate to say, I already met mine.”

Dean chuckled. Asking about someone’s soulmate mark was a good icebreaker to compare if you thought yours was similar, or so he’d heard. He hadn’t had the opportunity yet. “No, ma’am,” he said as he patted his right shoulder. “Mine is an angel wing or something like that.”

“That’s cute!” She complimented. “You meet her yet?”

Dean almost wined at the _her_ part, but he wasn’t about to out himself to some random stranger when it wasn’t needed. “No, ma’am.”

“You’re young, it’s fine. You know what I hear about shoulder marks, though? They’re so much more significant, because I hear it means that those are sturdier relationships. You lean on one another and carry one another. They say arm marks like mine are for the less secure people, so you can spot it and find your soulmate faster. Can you imagine my shock when I had read that?”

Dean laughed a bit at that remark, it wasn’t often a stranger would poke fun at themselves like that. “And uh, what did the arrow stand for?”

She rolled her eyes humorously, as if to continue making fun of herself. “We met at an archery range thing. I really scoured those types of areas in hope. Gosh, maybe I _was_ insecure. He was the instructor, and he had taken an interest into archery to try to find _me_!”

Dean continued to smile and chuckle softly at her tale. “Well, whatever god was in charge of these _really_ wanted you two to be archers, I guess.”

She laughed back at Dean’s comment. “Yeah, I guess so. I wish I had some idea for your wing. Maybe a church?”

Dean shook his head. “No offense to any religious people, but that’s just not me, personally. But, the thought has crossed my mind. We will see if I don’t find them on my own.”

“To each their own,” she politely said. “I uh, hate to be rude, but I do need to go over some work now.” She politely gestured to her laptop bag and Dean responded to a courteous wave.

“Absolutely no harm done. I just thought the ink was cool and wanted to take my mind off the heights. Thank you for humoring me,” he thanked as he took out his phone and air pods. He missed the days of walkmans in his youth and headphones with wires. He didn’t even have the ear pods that could be split between two people comfortably. You had to stretch the band of the conjoined headset with the person you wanted to listen to music with. Dean’s cheek would be pressed against _his_ , and his arm was around _him_ as well to reduce the distance because two arms pressed against each other was straining. Dean’s forehead would be cushioned against the other man’s feathery hair and…..

_Feathers-_

Dean sighed, pressing play on his playlist, trying to distract himself from the similarity between the man’s hair and the wing tattoo on his back. He spent far too many hours hoping that his best friend, his first male crush from high school was his long-lost soulmate. It was too bad they left Nebraska when Dean was seventeen and wouldn’t even get his soulmate mark for another year. 

It wasn’t like Dean hadn’t tried to find the man, he really did; but phone numbers got changed, as did addresses. Jo didn’t know where he went to college, and the man had no social media presence for Dean to track. His former crush disappeared without a trace, and all Dean had left was the memory of his gorgeous blue eyes.

The plane landed soon enough and Dean thanked his phone ~~and its skip feature allowing him to not have to listen to any love songs~~ for keeping his sanity in check for the flight. He grabbed his carry-on bag from the overhead bins and made his way off the plane.

The expanding tunnel that connected the airport to the plane was warm and full of Nebraska air. It had been a whole decade since it last filled his lungs. He wished he could have made it back sooner.

He navigated through the airport to make his way to the car rental stand to pickup his rental sedan, and he set out to drive half an hour outside the city to the small town of Waterloo where he lived for three years of his life.

Out of all the small towns Dean had to live in growing up, Waterloo had the potential to be one of the dullest; but Jo a certain blue eyed boy made that small town the best small town ever.

He successfully navigated his way to The Roadhouse, the best bar in Nebraska. Jo’s mother Ellen ran it, and the three of them would often hang out under her watchful eye to make sure they didn’t steal any hard liquor. For the most part, they were on their best behavior; but they were bored teens in a boring town.

Dean and Jo were the wild ones, the bad influences. They definitely were the ones to corrupt their third musketeer. He was a reserved, shy man at first, but Dean started inviting him out to places because he was _intrigued_ , and he fell hard from there. That man was a thing of the past, but as he looked at this old, wooden bar, he found himself reminiscing of the one who got away yet again.

He turned the car off and made his way through the small parking lot and wandered right through the front door. A decade had passed, and the interior hadn’t changed a bit. It had a rustic, American-made, down-to-earth feel that Dean admired. Ellen’s father had built the bar himself, and he built it well; it was still in phenomenal condition.

“That couldn’t be Dean Winchester,” an older woman’s voice stated from a few meters away. “That Dean Winchester either died or has a _really_ good excuse for not visiting in ten years.”

Dean smiled bashfully, partially embarrassed. “I’m truly sorry, Ellen,” he said as he approached her. “Would you believe me if I said I’m definitely regretting not coming sooner?”

“Of course,” Ellen replied. “There’s no place like home. I know you had a lot of them, but I had hoped this one was different.”

“It was,” Dean said as he brought her in for a close, tight hug. Dean had had lost his mother when he was young, and Ellen was the closest thing he ever had to an alternative. Not that he would say. He spent more time with Jo and her than he did with his Dad.

He let go and smiled at her fondly. “Where is the lovely bride-to-be?”

Ellen gestured him to follow her to the bar and she gestured for him to have a seat. “She’s getting last minute things organized. Weddings sure are a lot of work, but she’ll be here tonight for pre-wedding day drinks and some of the bridal parties. You better be staying. She’ll die when she sees you. She’s so excited to see you again.”

“I’m very excited too. I’m very sorry we haven’t kept in touch much,” Dean said.

Ellen shrugged and began to pour Dean a beer. “That’s life. Your roots grow where they do. You got a job, you gotta stick close to it. It’s such a shame your daddy whisked you away from us, but I know he had to go where the work was.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed regretfully. “I should have came right back here, though.”

A small smile grew on Ellen’s face as she set the beer in front of Dean. “It’s not too late. Maybe something will convince you to stay. You boys were family. And so was Castiel.”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the name he wasn’t bringing himself to think of for the past several hours…or even years. He didn’t know if Ellen was starting at him, waiting for his expression, or if he reacted and it grabbed her attention. He couldn’t read the look on her face. Was it smug and all knowing, or actually innocuous and Dean was just overthinking? It was likely the former if Dean was being honest.

“Is Castiel coming?” Dean asked as nonchalantly as he could.

Ellen appeared like she was suppressing a smile. “I’m not sure,” she replied, but Dean wasn’t sure if he believed her tone. “You’ll have to ask Jo when she gets here.”

Dean meant to give her a look but she turned quickly to get Dean a drink.

“So Sammy got his lady friend I hear, ring pending, my little Joanna getting hitched. That just leaves you, Dean,” Ellen said.

Dean let out a nervous chuckle and took a generous sip of his beer. “I’m well aware, Ellen. Thank you.”

She chuckled back. “I know it’s hard out there. I didn’t mean to put pressure on you. I mostly just want another reason to see you. Sooner rather than later, preferably.”

They drank and caught up for an hour or so before a loud and excited group entered The Roadhouse. Dean turned to see an embarrassed looking blonde and redheaded girl, each in a sash, holding hands. The noisemakers were the group of friends they were surrounded by.

The blonde girl’s eyes landed on Dean and her expression lit up with excitement. “Dean Winchester, you sunuvabitch!” She broke off from her partner, which Dean was a little surprised about, and prepped himself to be tackled by a large hug.

“I’ve missed you, Jo,” Dean said, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

She gave him a very large hug with intense glee before turning around to her party. “Charlie, come over here!” she ordered, waving with her hand. “Dean, this is my soulmate, Charlie Bradbury. Charlie, this is one of my best friends from High School, Dean Winchester.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Charlie,” Dean greeted. “You must be something pretty special to win Jo ever, because she deserves nothing but the best.”

Jo looked embarrassed, and Charlie looked a little bashful. “Well, I definitely hope so. I’ve never had as much fun or as many laughs as I have with Jo.”

“Dean, you’d actually love her. She’s into all the same nerdy stuff you were into as a teen,” Jo said.

“Oh, when _I_ like it, it’s nerdy, but when _she_ likes it, it’s soulmate material? Something feels a little rigged here,” he said playfully.

“Were you my former competition or something?” Charlie asked, equally playfully. There was definitely no reason for jealously when they were confirmed soulmates.

“A lot of people thought we may have been, but I think Dean had his sights on someone else,” she said with an implying tone.

Dean rolled his eyes and hoped his blushing wasn’t going to give him away. He wanted to ask about Castiel, but he definitely couldn’t do it _now_ or else he’d be admitting that Castiel was correlated to her statement.

“Well, I definitely wish you lived closer so we could all hang out together,” Charlie said. “She watches Star Wars with me, but I’d love someone more enthusiastic.”

Dean laughed with a large smile. “I would love that. I definitely need more geek friends in my life.”

“Well, hopefully you find a reason to come back more often,” Jo said. Before Dean could comment, she turned to her mother over at the bar. “Momma, I think we all need some shots! Let’s get this party started!” Jo exclaimed, earning more enthusiastic shouts from her friends and Charlie.

With a few more drinks in him, he was not immune to being persuaded to dancing with Jo and Charlie out on the dance floor, and if he sang aloud to “you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life”, he would forgive himself because it was a very special occasion and he had copious amounts of alcohol.

Dean got a cab back to the hotel, his lowered inhibitions only lead him to think of one thing. “Cas,” Dean said softly, with his head against the cold window and his eyes closed shut. His lowered inhibitions had weakened his resolve and he was all Dean could think about. This town, Jo, The Roadhouse, it all brought back so many memories of their friendship.

Dean checked in successfully and immediately grabbed one of the water bottles on the counter and began to chug it. He shucked his clothes off down to his briefs and collapsed in the king sized bed with a heavy sigh. He glanced over at all of the empty space. It was too much for just one man by himself.

“Cas,” he whispered with an exhale as he closed his eyes again. He didn’t want to admit it, but he thought about Cas and his potential soulmate all the time. Did he find his by now? Was he happy?

He really wished Cas was still in his life, in any capacity. The man was impossible to find. He just missed talking to him about anything and everything. Dean used to spend entire days with Castiel. Cas was his own little escape from his dad and boring life, his suffocating household. He was so closeted then; being with Cas made him feel _free_. He clung to the possibility that when they turned eighteen their soulmate marks would match and Cas could take him away from his Dad somehow. Sadly, that wasn’t the case.

He wished he had the opportunity to ask Jo if he’d be here tomorrow. God, he hoped Cas would be here tomorrow.

==

He woke up the next morning with only a minor headache. The water bottle was truly a saving grace. The wedding wasn’t until the early evening, and he had plenty of time to get ready.

He took a hot shower and put on his suit that he rarely wore. However, he had to admit that when he _did_ dress up, he cleaned up pretty nice. He felt like James Bond whenever he looked this immaculate.

He took a deep breath to compose himself. He was looking nice for _himself_. Cas wasn’t going to be here, and there was no point dressing to impress or charm any of Jo and Charlie’s gay guy friends. But he found himself wondering how different Cas would look now, with a decade of growth on him. Would he recognize Cas? Would Cas recognize him? Jo recognized him, so surely he was a little bit of the same.

Would Cas even be the same person Dean got to know in high school? A decade was an extremely long time. What if they did meet again and he wanted nothing to do with Dean? What if he was a friend of convenience at the time?

He drove to the venue where the wedding was being held. There were multiple rows of wooden chairs on ach side of the aisle that lead to a wooden arch decorated with ivy and beautiful flowers.

He was advised Jo’s side was going to be the left, and Charlie’s was the right, so he found some seats and sat down, nervously waiting. He didn’t recognize any other people aside from some people from the bar. They were not a popular trio in high school, and Dean wouldn’t have had any idea of anyone she met after he moved away.

He just sat peacefully in his chair, looking around at the beautiful sights of the botanical garden when he sensed someone standing behind him.

“Hello, Dean,” stated a overly-familiar low and gravely voice. His heart skipped a beat for a moment and he stood up, rotating himself as he rose to face the man who greeted him. First his eyes were following an exquisitely tailored suit up a to clean-shaven strong jaw that rested underneath plump lips, a thin nose, and the world’s bluest eyes that he had ever seen .

“Cas,” Dean said breathlessly. Castiel came, he was _here_. He was standing two feet away from Dean for the first time in ten long years. An excited smile grew on his face and he stepped forward to hug his old time friend. “It’s so good to see you, buddy.”

Castiel reciprocated the hug with some loving pats on his back. “It’s very good to see you too, Dean. I’ve missed you.”

Something about hearing those words while having Cas’s arms around him made him weak in the knees. He wasn’t sure how intimately or platonically the statement was intended. “I missed you too,” he said as he let go.

“Would you, uhh, like to sit by me? We can catch up?” Dean offered, gesturing to the empty row he was in.

“That’d be great, just one moment,” Castiel said as he looked around. “Jack! Over here!”

Dean’s heart tightened for a moment. Who was Jack? Of _course_ Castiel had met his soulmate already, why wouldn’t he have? He was gorgeous, smart and-

“Yeah, I can see you, Dad, it’s not a large room,” said the well-dressed moody teenager before him that just referred to a twenty-eight year old as ‘Dad’. This kid was at least sixteen.

“Dad?” Dean questioned. “I know math wasn’t my best subject, but something ain’t exactly aligning.”

Cas chuckled softly as he patted Jack’s shoulder. “You remember me mentioning my eldest brother Luke, right? He’s technically Jack’s father, but I’ve been raising him for the past few years when he came into our lives. Jack, this is my old friend from high school, Dean Winchester.”

“Oh, so _you’re_ Dean,” Jack said, which caught Dean by surprise. Cas had mentioned him to Jack, more than once if the name stood out.

“Hopefully these have been good stories, or have they been what _not_ to do in high school?” Dean asked.

Castiel slightly scoffed with a small delighted expression. “Just stories about my friends I had in high school that seemed relevant when he was entering.”

“Well, it’s good to meet you, Jack,” Dean said politely.

“You too, I guess,” he said with a mixed expression, which Dean couldn’t fault.

“Okay, have a seat, bud,” Cas suggested. “You can listen to your music until you hear the bridal music.”

They took their seats, Cas next to Dean and Jack sat a few more seats down. Dean just continued to look at Castiel with a mesmerized expression. “I just can’t believe you’re here,” Dean said. “I….I’ve tried to find you online, but no dice.”

A small smile twitched on Castiel’s face at the confession. Dean maybe thought he was being too sappy, but he didn’t care right now. He wanted his best friend to know he tried. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve thought about it, but social media isn’t really my thing, despite the benefits.”

“Well, I’m just glad Jo found you and got you to come. I was worried I wouldn’t see you again,” Dean confessed.

Something about Castiel’s expression was caught off guard, and vulnerable. Whatever it was, it gave Dean hope. Before he had a chance to comment, the music began to play, alerting them the ceremony was starting.

A small flower boy began to walk down the aisle first, throwing petals to pave the way for the rest of the party. Dean smiled softly at the breaking of norms at this queer wedding. It makes him wish he could have been more authentically himself sooner. He took a glance over at Cas, who was smiling fondly towards the aisle. It was a beautiful smile that he desperately missed.

Dean continued to watch Castiel’s amusement, and he began to picture a forbidden fantasy that he too frequently succumbed to thinking about; what a wedding with Castiel Novak would be like. He had no idea about what Castiel’s adult tastes were like, but he imagined something rustic and rural, like a historic barn.

How did Castiel Novak make such an impact on Dean in three short years that it would cause him to be completely wrecked for an entire decade? He used to be cool, suave, and charming. But something about Castiel made him feel like a giddy teenager all over again, young and hopeful for love- a Dean Winchester that thought his whole future was ahead of him and there’s always be that blue eyed man in it; a Dean Winchester that wasn’t dragged out of Nebraska that had to see the love of his life fade away in the rear view.

Charlie’s friend, the minister, began his speech, and if Dean was being honest, he had the most impossible time paying attention. It was so hard for him to stare forward at the most beautiful wedding he’s ever seen, thinking about soulmates and true love, and not turn around to look at the man he had been dying to see for ten painstakingly long years. He needed to know where his soulmate mark was, and what it was.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride!” the minister exclaimed. The guests in the audience began to cheer and clap as Jo and Charlie brought their lips and arms together, kissing as they embraced one another. When they broke apart, they smiled so beautifully that it made Dean’s heart flutter. He was all in now; no more pretending he was fine on his own and waiting for the ‘right time’.

He turned to Castiel, who was clapping and smiling for the newlywed couple and Dean wanted that moment with Castiel more than anything in the world. He wanted Castiel to look at him with the same magical wonder and awe that Charlie and Jo had displayed.

He didn’t want that to be _now_ though. Castiel must have caught Dean staring because he turned to the man who was still starstruck, and the expression must have shocked him slightly because he went from smiling jovially to slightly gasping at Dean’s hopeless expression. Castiel must not have cared too much because his warm smile grew back, as if Dean wasn’t drowning in the deep end of those ocean blue eyes right now.

“I take it you liked the ceremony,” Castiel said softly, coaxing Dean back to the present moment.

Dean let out a breathless, exasperated chuckle. How did he admit that he didn’t pay a single moment of alert attention to his best friend’s wedding because he was too busy watching love story daydream films in the cinema of his imagination about him? “It was beautiful,” Dean half-lied. The scenery was, but he had no idea about the ceremony itself.

“I thought so too,” Cas replied. His voice was velvet and smooth like honey. It sounded like a purr, and Dean needed him to not do that for a moment.

“Are we driving to the banquet now or what?” Jack asked, breaking Castiel’s attention away from Dean which he was somehow simultaneously grateful and resentful towards.

“I suppose so,” Castiel said, turning back to Dean. “Please tell me you’ll be there, Dean.”

The ‘please’ nearly broke Dean. “Of course. I’m staying at the hotel, after all.” That sentence took so much composure out of Dean to make it come off as suave and flirtatious as the old Dean used to be, and it was worth it. Cas’s smile twitched a little bit, and maybe, just maybe, Cas was thinking of Dean the way Dean was thinking of Cas.

“That’s pretty convenient,” Castiel purred again, frying Dean’s brain from within. “I’ll see you there.” Castiel stood up and gestured for Jack to walk with him and he let himself sigh a breath of relief. There was almost no way this man could _not_ be his soulmate. He _had_ to be. Dean _needed_ him to be.

Dean made his way to his car and drove back to the hotel. Dean’s heart raced the entire drive. He only got a few minutes of conversation with Cas, and he was already craving more.

He didn’t think it was possible to miss somebody this much. The small interaction he had with Castiel just made him realize what he had lost. He wouldn’t let Cas slip out of his life again. Even if it could only be just as friends, he needed Cas in his life again, in any capacity.

He arrived back at the hotel in a timely manner and entered the reception hall. He did a brief glance around, and there wasn’t any sight of Castiel yet. Maybe they pulled over somewhere. This would be a perfect opportunity to get some liquid courage into his system.

Dean made his way to the bar and ordered a vodka soda. A light beer was not going to calm his nerves enough for him. He drank by himself until he saw Castiel enter the room, catching Dean’s eye from afar. 

Dean tipped his glass to him and made his way over to Castiel with a warm smile. Castiel’s expression changed from one of concern and questioning to a happier one. It was probably rude to think, but Dean hoped it may have been jealousy.

“Heya, Cas,” Dean said as he approached.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied with an entertained grin. They had already seen each other and greeted one another today, but Dean enjoyed doing it again.

“Shall we get you a drink? It’s an open bar,” Dean suggested.

“Why not?” Cas replied, accepting the offer. They got Cas a vodka cranberry and they made their way to a table where they could talk to one another. Jack was there, but he had his headphones in. Perhaps it was for the better. He didn’t want Jack to hear this man pining for his father.

“Catch me up, Cas,” Dean said once they were sitting next to each other, both turned to face one another. “Tell me about everything that happened in your life after I moved out. Spare no detail.”

Cas chuckled and took a drink of his cocktail before setting it back down. “That’s a big ask, Winchester.”

Dean smiled back in response to Cas’s playful tone. “I don’t care. I’ve missed out on so much of your life. I want to know what you’ve been up to.”

Cas smiled back softly with a bashful expression. “Well, high school sucked the last year after you left, but Jo and I got through it. I went to college in Seattle for undergrad to become an English professor, and then did my Masters and PhD in New York. Then I just got back here to Omaha about two years ago to teach at the university here.”

Dean had a wide smile that he couldn’t control. Seattle, New York. Those were way nicer places than his dad every had him live. “What made you come back? I thought you wanted out.”

“You mean aside from employment?” he asked with a subtle laugh before he took another sip of his drink. He looked down, not keeping eye contact with Dean as he set his drink back down. “I suppose I had time to evaluate that being close to family wasn’t so bad. It was important to me to be somewhere familiar-”. He looked up at Dean and had a peculiar look in his eyes that Dean was trying to decipher. “-just in _case_.”

‘Just in case of what?’ Dean wondered. Did Castiel want to stick around Nebraska just for-

“How about you, Dean?” Castiel asked, interrupting Dean’s thoughts. “You must have had quite the life too.”

Dean sighed, slightly worried Cas wouldn’t be as impressed with his life. “Well, we moved to Kansas City after here, and I worked part time at an auto-shop. Once I graduated, I just started working there full time.” He looked over at Castiel, who was looking at him deeply. Dean didn’t have much of a story for the man. All he did every day for a decade was work, drink the occasional beer, and dream about finding his way back to those blue eyes.

“I was trying to save up money to get back here on my own, Castiel,” he said sincerely, Cas’s eyes widening at the use of his full name. “But Jo told me you were already gone and she didn’t know where.” His voice faltered, and Cas looked vulnerable and apologetic.

“You really did look for me?” His question was soft and tender, and it made Dean’s breath hitch sharply.

“Of course, Cas,” Dean replied.

Castiel continued to look at him curiously with a deciphering expression. Dean just needed Castiel to ask the question, and Dean could tell him absolutely everything. Every thought, every hope Dean had over the past decade, thirteen years if he was to include their three years together, which were the best in his whole life.

“Why?”

There it was, the moment Dean was waiting for. A decade of waiting, and Dean could finally tell Castiel how he felt since they began their friendship.

“Because I-”

“Ladies, gentlemen, and gender non-conforming individuals!” the DJ loudly announced on the speakers, interrupting Dean, which caused him to sigh in frustration. Cas let out a small chuckle, which is not what Dean was hoping for in the middle of his heartfelt moment. He took a swig of his drink and would just have to try again later.

“It is my pleasure to introduce Mrs. and Mrs. Harvelle-Bradbury!” The room cheered and applauded loudly as the newlywed couple entered the banquet hall holding hands, kissing once more once they were fully in the room.

Wait staff came around and served the dishes. Other attendees joined their table, and Dean sighed, looking at Castiel apologetically. They wouldn’t be able to finish their serious conversation privately for a while.

They talked about everything they liked to do in their free time; Dean was really into watching baseball, and was trying to get more into football. He admitted he had a D&D group with his friends Benny and Garth.

“It’s time for the first dance of the evening,” the DJ later announced. “May I please have the lovely brides out on the dancefloor?”

Charlie and Jo made their way to the dance floor and took each other in their arms. A slow song began to play for the two of them and they swayed with each to the melody while looking at each other as if they were the only two people in the world.

Dean was never much of a dancer. Aside from last night at the bar with a lot of alcohol in him, he had never slow danced with anybody, nor did he ever think he’d have an interest in it. But right now, he wanted nothing more in the world than to dance with Castiel.

The song ended and the crowd clapped once more for the couple, and they announced the floor would be open to all. A few other couples made their way when another slow song started, and Dean took a deep breath before turning back to Castiel.

Cas’s attention was grabbed when he realized Dean was looking at him. Dean was nervous. He never had a chance to come out to Cas in high school, and Cas didn’t either. Dean completely had no idea for sure if Cas liked guys or not, but tonight gave him plenty of hints and clues that there had to be _something_ here.

“Would you like to dance with me, Castiel?” Dean asked.

Cas looked at him almost in disbelief for a moment before his smile warmed up. “I would like that, Dean.”

Dean just smiled back and gave a polite nod. He was using all his strength to repress the goofiest of looks or to say something stupid in an octave too high. He reached out his hand to Cas, and Cas _took it_ , making Dean’s heart race even faster than it already was.

They stood up and Dean escorted Cas to the dancefloor. He was so unbelievably nervous, which was so unlike him. He was never nervous on a date or a hookup; but right now he felt like his legs were jello and he was going to collapse.

Jo saw the two of them approaching and gave Dean an eager grin and a thumbs up, to which Dean rolled his eyes. Once they were in the middle of the dance floor, Dean turned to face Cas and he put his hands on Cas’s lower back, and held him close. Castiel nervously reciprocated, and the feeling of Cas’s arms around him made Dean melt into his touch.

They spent just a few notes with each other, dancing in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence in their arms, and their longing looks at one another before Dean decided to break the silence.

“Your story didn’t mention a soulmate, Cas,” Dean said.

Cas’s eyes widened. Dean wasn’t sure what to attribute it to. “No I didn’t. You didn’t either.”

Dean huffed with a slight chuckle. He was scared, Cas was scared, but they couldn’t tiptoe around this any longer. “What’s your soulmate mark, Castiel?”

Cas’s nervous expression faltered into one of remorse or sadness, and Dean prepared for the worst. Had he already met his? Was he reading this situation wrong?

“I don’t know, Dean,” Castiel answered. Dean stared at Cas curiously as he processed his words, as he was still trying to clear his head of his own fears.

Dean let out a confused scoff. “You’re joking,” he said. Everyone knew what their soulmate mark was. It was the number one thing everyone looked forward to about turning eighteen. They would wait around, waiting for the minute they were born to check out the spot of skin that panged o they could look at see what it was. You would have a friend with you just in case it was on your back. Sam was the one that told Dean about his.

“I’m serious, Dean,” Castiel said. “I didn’t want to see what it was. ”

Dean continued to sway with Castiel, unsure about what to do or what to say. “H-how do you avoid that for long?”

“It’s on the back of my shoulder,” Castiel said. “Gabriel offered to check for me, but I declined. Repeatedly. Every beach day, I kept my shirt on. I didn’t try to twist my body when looking in the mirror, I just…..refused to look at it.”

His shoulder. Castiel’s soulmate mark was on one of his shoulders. Dean’s heart was back to racing. He was so close now. “Please tell me it was the right shoulder,” Dean pleaded. “Please.”

He heard Cas’s breathing sharpen out of surprise. “Y-yes, Dean.”

Dean couldn’t help but let out a teary eyed smile. The one thing he had been wishing for for thirteen years was getting more and more real by the moment. “That’s where mine is too,” he said softly.

Cas’s jaw slacked partially. He was surprised, and equally at a loss of words for just a moment before he regained his composure. “Do you want to know why I refused to look at my mark, Dean?” Dean just shook his head in reply. “There was never any point in checking because I assumed I wasn’t going to see them again. My soulmate left Nebraska in the backseat of a 1967 Chevrolet Impala.”

“Cas-” Dean said softly in surprise. Castiel just called him his soulmate. Cas just confessed that he had feelings for Dean, the same feelings he himself was harboring. “All I’ve done every day since I got my mark was hope that I’d see you again, and there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than your mark to match mine.”

Cas moved his hand to cup Dean’s face and Dean couldn’t drag this conversation out any longer. He leaned forward immediately and brought their lips together, and kissed Castiel deeply. Castiel returned the kiss enthusiastically, and it was the best kiss Dean had ever experienced in his life. He cupped Castiel’s face in return and for a few moments, it was just the two of them.

Castiel eventually broke off the kiss, looking around self-consciously, hoping they didn’t get too many stares. Dean chuckled embarrassingly, but he didn’t care. He just got to kiss the lips he had been dreaming about kissing since he was in high school.

Dean guided Cas’s gaze to his and pressed their foreheads together as they continued to sway. “That was pretty amazing,” Dean said.

Cas chuckled bashfully under the overwhelming intimacy of the situation. “It was,” Cas agreed.

“Will you let me see your mark?” Dean asked. “I’m fairly positive we’re going to match now and I shouldn’t need the reassurance, but….it’s just something I need.”

Cas nodded, seeing something in Den’s eyes that made him understand why Dean needed this so badly and what it meant to him. “Of course, Dean. Just, give me a minute, okay? I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Okay,” Dean muttered softly. Castiel escorted him off the dance floor before letting go of his hand. Cautiously, Dean watched Cas make his way to Jack. He supposed it was better for Dean not to awkwardly be there if Cas was telling him anything about them.

He made his way to the lobby as requested and he tried to settle his nerves as he waited for Castiel. There was so much riding on this reveal. What if Castiel left right now? What if they went upstairs and it wasn’t a match after all? Why couldn’t Dean just have the one sliver of happiness?

“Dean,” Cas’s soothing voice said from behind as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before coming into Dean’s view. Dean must have looked more wrecked than he anticipated because Castiel’s face was concerned. “I’m here now, Dean. I’m not going to let you go again.”

Dean let out a broken rasp. He didn’t know how much he needed to hear those words from Castiel. “Thank you, Cas,” he said as he placed his own hand on top of Cas’s.

They made their way to Dean’s hotel room in silence, hand in hand, until Dean needed to fish in his pockets for his key card to open the door. They walked inside, and the atmosphere was tense in a way. They were at the precipice of a thirteen year build of falling in love and waiting to be reunited.

Dean turned to Castiel and held him once more, just in case. He placed his lips to Cas’s forehead.

Cas must have realized what this was for and he leaned back to look Dean in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere, Dean.” That continued to relieve Dean of some of his anxiety for a moment, and he smiled back before looking at Cas’s shirt.

This part was more awkward than usual. It was so _expected_ as opposed to the spontaneity of a frivolous fling where clothing would be shed more naturally. Cas must have noticed this too because he was looking incredibly shy all of a sudden.

Dean chuckled and put his hands on Cas’s sides to slowly rotate him so Cas wouldn’t have to face him as he stripped. Cas laughed lightly at the formality of the situation. Dean saw his arms start to move, removing the suit blazer and discarding it to the floor. Next was the dress shirt covering his skin. Dean’s heart was excited, but also petrified. The aspect of Cas undoing his buttons one at a time should arouse Dean to no end, but the circumstances were so different right now.

“Are you ready?” Castiel asked cautiously, his voice full of concern for Dean.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Dean replied.

He saw Cas nod his head lightly, and with a small shimmy and a tug, his shirt was discarded to the ground. Castiel’s entire back was beautiful, and he wanted to ogle it longer, but he worked up the strength to bring his attention to the right shoulder.

He let out a small gasp when he processed what he was looking at, and Cas must have heard the noise Dean emitted. “Is something wrong, Dean?”

It was an angel wing, identical to the one Dean had on his. He had stared at his own photograph, committing the details to memory so he’s be able to able to recognize it instantly on anyone. _On Castiel_.

“Dean?” Castiel prompted further. Dean took a step closer to Castiel and leaned forward to put his lips on Castiel’s mark, earning a sigh of relief from his best friend in the entire world.

“I take it that this is a good sign?” Castiel questioned with a pleasant tone?

“Mmhmm,” Dean moaned, his mouth still preoccupied kissing Castiel’s wing over and over in every place he could until he was satiated. “Do you want to see what it is now that you know what it is?”

Castiel hesitated momentarily, processing if he wanted to see his mark for the very first time in his life. “I think I do.”

“Just a moment,” Dean stated as he took his phone out of his pocket. He opened up the camera and snapped a picture up close so he could show Castiel. But a photograph wasn’t enough. He should be able to see the match for himself.

He set the phone on the edge of the bed behind him and started to remove his own suit and tie so Cas could see their marks in comparison.

“Are you ready to see?” Dean asked, reaching behind him, trying to find where he set the phone without turning around too soon for Castiel.

“I’m ready,” Castiel growled in a way that made Dean sure this man was going to be the death of him. They were going to have the absolute best rest of their lives together.

He found the phone and made his way to Castiel, setting the phone gently in his hands. Castiel looked at the screen curiously and smiled before looking up at Dean, who took that as his cue to turn around.

He felt Castiel’s fingers trace over the outline of his own mark, as if to memorize it via touch. “I always thought it was pretty, I’m just not really processing what it means. Is it because I flew out here to this wedding?”

Castiel began to laugh, fairly strongly, and Dean turned around to look at his lover curiously. “What’s so funny?”

Cas took a deep breath to settle the laughter, but still looked at Dean with the most delighted expression ever. “You don’t remember?”

Dean’s eyebrow arched as he looked at Castiel with confusion. “Remember what?”

Castiel bit his lips and forced his smile away. “It was a week or two before you moved away. We were drinking in my bedroom because your dad had just told you on short notice. We were both pretty miserable about the situation. And you said to me, ‘Castiel, I need you to fly us away together. Somewhere far away where it can be just the two of us together.’”

Dean’s lungs tightened up as he listened to the memory he had no recollection of, and Castiel looked like it was one of his favorite memories. “That’s when I knew that I didn’t just have any old crush on Dean Winchester. I was hopelessly, irreversibly in love with you, and I knew that I would be for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t believe it,” Dean rasped out softly. Castiel smiled and stroked his cheek, using his thumb to wipe away a tear Dean didn’t even realize he had shed.

“You should believe it. You weren’t the only one that was trying to find their way back to us. I guess I just didn’t try as hard because I wasn’t so sure if you felt the same,” he replied. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“No, I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean said. “I should have told you what you meant to me back in high school.” He pressed his mouth against Castiel’s and kissed him with as much passion and sincerity that would translate through his lips.

His hands roamed Castiel’s back and Dean relished in the feeling of Castiel’s warmth underneath his fingertips. He still could barely believe that Cas was in his arms, on his lips. He thought for sure this was one of the countless dreams his subconscious had manifested throughout the past decade, but this was _real._

Dean took his mouth off of Cas and caressed both sides of Castiel’s face, looking deeply into the intense blue eyes that he loved. “I love you, Castiel Novak.”

“I love you too, Dean Winchester.”

Dean brought his hand to cup Castiel’s face, something he was learning he was becoming rather fond of doing, and leaned in for yet another kiss, which he would also never tire of.

** The End **


End file.
